The Present of Presence.

By Carly Cooper

The now is the only thing there ever is, you can't get
away from it. But the voice in our head keeps us either in
the past or in the future, treating the present moment as
if it were the enemy.
- Eckhart Tolle

Are you a professional waiter? I don’t mean the kind that works at a restaurant getting food for people. I mean the type of person who waits for something better to happen before they can be truly happy. Do you like the way you look now or do you believe you’ll look better when you fit into your pre-baby jeans again? Does your career fulfill you now or are you working a job just to get a paycheck? Have you recently taken any exciting vacations or are you waiting until your last child goes off to university? 

Most moms don’t live in the moment because they’re so busy multitasking and rushing to fit it all in that there’s too much guilt if they neglect all the other things they have to do. As a result, the great moments that are right in front of them are often missed. Half the time, moms don’t even realize they’re moving so quickly through the day because they’re on autopilot and it just becomes part of their daily routine. It’s also difficult for some moms to live in the moment when they don’t exactly enjoy the moment they are in. It’s hard to endlessly entertain a toddler with the attention span of a gnat!

Focusing on the future and all the things that have to get done only causes stress, anxiety and useless worry. So how can you stop to smell the roses when you don’t have a second to breathe?

1. Call off the search party. Stop looking for happiness and realize it’s already here. Look around you. Are you and your family healthy? Do you have the necessities of life? It’s not about how much you have but the quality of what you have. It’s ok to dream and work towards your goals as long as you don’t get too caught up in the results.

2. Whistle while you work. Try to make all the things you have to do more enjoyable. Do you dread doing housework? Kick it up a notch and listen to your favourite music while doing your chores. If you add dancing to the mix, it’ll save you from having to go to the gym. Now that’s efficient!

3. Use your time wisely. When doing everyday duties like driving your kids to school, bath time or preparing dinner, take those moments to connect with your child/ren. Ask them about their day and get them to help you out. Not only will it get the job done faster, but it’s a great way to bond and build their self-esteem.

4. Just be. It’s more important to be present with your kids even if it’s just for an hour a day than to be physically with them for 8 hours while you’re engaged in other things. The next time you’re “playing” with your kids, put down the phone and get down on the floor with them. Kids just want you and your attention. So stop, look and listen to them.

5. Look at life through their eyes. Kids have an incredible ability to be amazed at the simplest things. A rock, a flower, how spaghetti feels in their hands. Follow their lead and find that sense of wonder again. Stop taking things for granted and learn to appreciate the small miracles that surround you everyday.

6. Start a new tradition or ritual. Find special ways to create memories your kids will never forget. Maybe it’s giving butterfly kisses before bed or making up a secret handshake that’s just between the two of you. These are the memorable moments that money can’t buy.

7. Remember, this too shall pass. Even though it may feel like you’ll never sleep again, or you’re destined to a life of changing dirty diapers, this stage won’t last forever. You may be thinking “Hallelujah” now, but when your child goes to school for the first time, the tears you shed won’t necessarily be of joy. Make the most of each stage when you’re in it so you don’t regret missing it when it’s gone. And if you truly can’t wait until the day when Elmo is no longer considered G-d, count your blessings, his days are numbered!